Wednesday, December 24, 2014
She was tired. The cancer had spread through her body, she was uncomfortable but not really in pain; but she was tired. She ate her meals, watched Food Network, took her naps, and she was still tired.
On Tuesday morning she left us and she won't be tired anymore.
June was a complicated woman. She was not a loving mother, but she was loved. She was loving to her two grandsons, but not her granddaughters. It is what it is, I'm not saying it was right or wrong, I'm just saying how it was. Her children are sad, and those of us who care for her children are sad.
I am conflicted, I am sad. I'm sure I'll miss her, but I sure won't miss things like her telling me my pants are too tight, or dinner was "a good try". I won't miss how she made my children feel less than "her" grandsons, I won't miss the shortness with my husband, and how she just couldn't seem to show him or his siblings love, yet they loved her. In the last few weeks my husband would hug her before he left and say "I love you, Mom." Her response was "O.K." I can't imagine how hurtful that must have been, but he continued because he did love her.
So, our Christmas will be a little different this year, a little quieter perhaps; a little more somber than our usual get-togethers. At our Christmas dinner toast to those who are no longer with us; a new name will be silently remembered, and there will be tears.
Death is part of our life, and life goes on. We will strive to remember the good we can glean from her life, the joy she took in simple things, laugh at the frustration she caused us, and remember a mother who raised three children that grew to be loving, thoughtful people...she must have done something right. So, here is to M. June Kaiser. May she rest in peace, have a joyous reunion with our Father in heaven, and never be tired again. I love you, June.
And from above I hear "O.K."
December 24, 2014 Sunrise 10:59 am Sunset 2:42 pm Temp. H 7/ L -15°