So the hip isn't getting any better,(yes, I had to go back to see the Dr. in his big screen room) and the next step is an injection into the hip joint. It is supposed to help with the pain. It is done under an Xray and takes about 20 minutes. I did ask for a valium.
I got my shot yesterday... another lovely experience. First off, it was a man who gave me the shot. You take all your clothes off and put on a robe. Then you lie flat on your back under the Xray machine and he walks in and has you pull up the robe to your belly, so your fat, flat thighs are at their finest and your hoo-ha is there for everyone to see! Then they turn the Xray machine on and use a paperclip to figure out where to insert the 8 inch needle they need to get through the layers of fat and into the hip joint. This takes about 45 minutes while you are freezing and half naked on the cold Xray table.
If that isn't bad enough, I had to ask..."What is that white circle on the Xray?" Turns out it was a BIG bubble of air (also known as a fart in waiting), right at "the exit point" according to the Dr. His exact words were, "That is a bubble of air sitting on the anus." Awesome! So I worried the whole procedure about farting in his face because he was so close to my nekked business!
He injected some numbing stuff (kind of like the stuff to numb you for dental work) and then pushed the giant needle down further and injected a little more. Finally got into the joint and said, "You may feel a little pressure and burning."
A LITTLE? I let him know (by yelling, I think) that it hurt. He stopped, gave me a couple of moments to stop the hysterical crying, and injected more serum into the joint. I again let him know in no uncertain terms it was very uncomfortable and I WAS DONE. "Only 10 more seconds," he lied. Two more pushes on the syringe with a hoot and a holler from me after each and we were finally finished.
The nurse covered up all my parts and handed me a tissue, then the Dr. asked how I was doing and says...
"Do I know you from somewhere? You look so familiar to me."
Really...you just spent 15 intimate minutes with my hoo-ha and NOW you ask if I know you from somewhere? I could have died.
We went through the typical where I work, if he has kids, blah, blah, blah but didn't find a connection. He left, I got the betadine stuff cleaned off me and helped me up so I could go get dressed.
I hobbled to the car with my husband and proceeded to fart all the way home...
Feel very sorry for my husband.
1 cup frozen peaches
2 oz. Southern Comfort or Crown Royal
1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 Tbsp. fresh lime juice
1 tsp. or to taste honey or agave
If using honey, mix with about a tablespoon hot water, then stir into whisky. Add all ingredients to blender and process until smooth. Pour into glass and enjoy.
Makes one drink and does not cause any extra bubbles of air to sit on your anus.
1 year ago: Oreo Truffles and watching what you say in public.
2 years ago: Raspberry Lemon Drop and Dave at Moose Camp
3 years ago: Bean Soup and the First Real Frost
September 10, 2015 Sunrise 7:19 am Sunset 8:10 pm Temp. H 50/ L 37°F